The Waves Around Me…

The phone rang. I recognized the number, but answered anyway. It was another person I owed money, this time my Internet Service Provider for my office. I told them the same thing I’ve told everyone else regarding my car, insurance, storage, mail box, and cell phone: there isn’t enough money to go around. I barely had the funds to cover feeding my crew on the Ford Fiesta Movement audition shoot this past Saturday, and there are missing elements still (like a project hard drive) because I do not have the cash necessary to take care of the needs.

*CRASH* A wave splashes over me.

I remember my current struggles to find an editor for this project. I don’t have the proper equipment to handle it on my own and no one seems to be willing to help me for free. Those who are willing, don’t feel like they have time to commit. The delay, now jeopardizing the deadline for submission to Ford by the end of the month, begins to weigh me down.

*CRASH* Another wave hits me.

It takes me a moment to resurface and cough out the water in my lungs. I look over to a devotional that I was just given by one of my pastors. I think of how I haven’t spent as much time in the Word last year as I would have liked and I pick it up, not expecting much from today’s entry. I turn to January 15th and I read:

My face is shining upon you, beaming out Peace that transcends understanding. You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face-to-Face with Me, your Peace. As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gaze too long at the myriad problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out “Help me, Jesus!” and I will lift you up.

Seriously? That was today’s entry? I feel as if the waves are crashing over me and around me and I open up the devotional and the words spoken—inspired by Philippians 4:7, Matthew 14:30, and Hebrews 12:2—talk about that very thing? Now, you tell me that God isn’t here, speaking to us today. You tell me that He doesn’t care about me individually (Luke 12:7 would argue that God counts the hairs on my head). This was meant exactly for me for this day and this very hour that I read it. Yes, it was meant for others as well, but there was a power and a timing to me getting this devotional last night and not two weeks ago, causing this to be the very first thing that I read out of it.

This entire situation has reminded me what I’ve been asking God to help me with the last couple of weeks: to rely and trust in Him, because He has it all under control. I ask Him to show me who to contact so that I can do my part, but not to stress out over that which I cannot control.

It’s also shown me one more thing: my writing has suffered this last year because I wasn’t in the Word as much as I should be. Yes, I have been allowed a certain amount of creativity within my projects, but this blog entry immediately flowed as soon as I tapped into the source of my creativity: the one who first created me. I desire to blog more and explore my walk with Christ and, if I am not seeking His face, then how am I to speak about Him? Just food for though.